Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize