Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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