the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
