i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
