He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
