i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
