Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
