Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
no, he came in my armpit
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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