If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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