i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
