forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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