we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
