Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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