the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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