listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
