umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
