so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
