cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
