did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
