how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
