Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I understand Curling. That high.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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