So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
NoShamevember. You game?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
