For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
