sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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