found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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