Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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