This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
