brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
