i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
