I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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