Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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