Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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