there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
