I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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