I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
