Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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