I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he was CRYING into my vagina
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
