today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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