went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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