she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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