Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
