I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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