what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
