its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
