You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
