Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
