I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
