When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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