Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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