I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
