Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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