That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
