I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
