He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
