im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Fuck appropriateness.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
