We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
