I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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