you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
