Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
