she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
