i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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