I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
