margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
