I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
