If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
