5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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