I was born with a shot glass in my hand
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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